X-Obsessed

Issue Summary:  We join the X-Men in the middle of dinner, one that Jean has apparently prepared. And the conversation is apparently so boring that Hank needs to bring his Advaned Math book to the table to read. Then Warren Worthington the Third speaks and confirms the fact that the conversation is indeed boring enough for anyone to want their Advanced Math book.  Case in point, the conversation steers towards pondering if the Sub-Mariner is a mutant. And if he is, they should find him and recruit him before the EVIL MUTANTS do.

Meanwhile…

Magneto is discussing recruiting the Sub-Mariner! But he wants to do so by force, with a weapon so large, he’s lying if he says it isn’t compensating for anything. But like Professor X, Magneto doesn’t know exactly where he is. Also like Professor X, Magneto projects his mind into an “illusory figure of himself” and sets out into the ocean to hunt down Sub-Mariner. Magneto does find him — and he’s pitching a fit like well, an emo, over something that happened in Fantastic Four #27 — and convinces one of Sub-Mariner’s minions to help him convince the Sub-Mariner to join him.

Professor X monitored Magneto’s actions this entire time and then tracked Magneto back to his hidden island. He has some idea where the hidden island is, so he and the X-Men set out a sailboat to search for it. Angel finally finds it, but he’s too late. The Sub-Mariner is already there, signing contracts and falling in love with the Scarlet Witch. He lets the X-Men know of his allegiance to Magneto by picking the Angel out of the air and hurling him back towards the ship. Magneto seals the dotted line by blasting the sailboat with a force of magnetic energy.

The X-Men make to Magneto’s island despite the lack of sailing device and end up capturing Quicksilver in the onslaught. Scarlet Witch pleads for Magneto to save her beloved brother, but Magneto wants to blast the X-Men with his magnetic beam, even if it hurts Quicksilver in the process. Sub-Mariner snaps at Magneto talking to his woman in this way and destroys Magneto’s giant magnet machine. Magneto responds by wrapping Sub-Mariner in the pieces of the destroyed mechanics. The X-Men jump on this opportunity of dissension to press on their attack, so Magneto flees with Mastermind and Toad at his heels. Scarlet Witch won’t leave her brother, the Sub-Mariner is still bound in iron wrappings, and Magneto could care less what happens to anyone but himself.

Professor X proves that he’s a bit more benevolent than that by releasing Quicksilver to the Scarlet Witch. Sub-Mariner throws another emo hissyfit and storms off declaring that he hates all surface dwellers. He should have stayed with the X-Men. As soon as he re-enters the water, Magneto fires a magnetic beam (from a different machine, as apparently he had more than one) towards him. Sub-Mariner fights back and reflects the beam back towards Magneto and destroys the island. But Magneto always has a Plan B and Plan C for escaping. It’s yet another magnetically powered spaceship. Oh and Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch rejoin them by Magneto’s mental command. Marvel Girl is very pleased to see them go because “that witch is much too attractive!”

Yes, Angel responded with another uncomfortable come on.

Commentary: I’m not sure I can fully comment all that I want to with this issue. If I did, John Galt’s speech from Atlas Shrugged would pale in comparison of length. I shall do my best to touch on the highlights.

First and foremost, the art has taken a deliberate upgrade, and it’s far more pleasing to the eyes. For starters, you can now distinguish between Scott, Warren Worthington the Third, and Bobby without looking for glasses, a height difference, and wings. Okay, so it wasn’t difficult before to tell them apart, but it’s nice to see that their facial features and hair styles are a bit more distinct. Jeannie also got a bit of a hair makeover, so now I see why everyone thinks she’s attractive other than the fact that she has girl parts.

On the very first page, Bobby uses his ice powers to add ice cream to his pie, and that really, really confused me. Ice cream is made from milk, sugar, cream, and other flavorings, and as far as I know, Bobby can only make ice so his pie topping should only be the equivalent of an unflavored sno cone, right? I need to turn the page.

As for questioning powers, I thought that Magneto’s mutant power was controlling the magnetic field, but it seems that he has telepathic powers as well. He can summon his minions mentally and project a mental image of himself, just like Professor X? Did I miss something? Wait, how could I have, if I’ve been reading these since the very first issue? So I must have missed something. Or I’m becoming the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

The best image of the entire issue was the drawing of Magneto’s island with the giant magnetic machine. The island has a giant U-magnet sitting on top of a hill, and it’s so large that it takes up most of the panel. The caption in the panel says that it’s a magnetic device. The artist really couldn’t think of anything more creative than drawing a giant U-shaped magnet? If it was colored, I bet it would be red with silver tips.

Lastly, OH MY GOD WARREN WORTHINGTON THE THIRD! Stop with the stupid cheesy lines and just ask her out already! You’re killing me and every other woman with decent taste.

Published on July 1, 1964

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